This quote is particularly inspirational to me. 

Especially right now.

Because I’m there. I’m right in the middle of all of that, and I have been for the last couple of months, wrapped in a panic/brain lock, unable to function.


I’ve always been able to write, when all else failed, I could write. 


I haven’t been able to do that for the last two months. 

Instead, I’ve been trying to figure out what I’m going to do, and like many other Samhain authors, I’ve been biting my fingernails down, wondering what’s going to happen.

Is the company going to be bought out? Is it closing? Is it not? 

I checked my inbox regularly, hoping for news that either didn’t come, or came in vague sips of “non-update” information, due to the Samhain people in negotiation with other entities.


And in preparation for the worst, I’ve also been trying to figure out what I’m going to do with myself and my books. Do I hunt for a new publisher? Do I publish myself? What’s the costs there? Can I afford to self-pub all my books myself? Like just the cover art and the editing alone is a frighteningly high number.

You see, I have 10 books with Samhain. That’s 10 books that will need new cover art. Though technically, I’ll probably have to do 13, because 3 tie into 3 from Samhain, and for consistency, I’ll want them all to match. So that’s roughly $1300. Not including a “full wrap” print cover, either, because many will go to print.
And then there’s formatting.

I can format my ebooks fine. It’s print I’m clueless about. So that’s another thing I’ve been studying to figure out–how to do my print formatting. Because I want my print books to be gorgeous too.

Not to mention, the books I was planning on self publishing anyway later this year. That’s 3 more books, needing covers and editing and formatting and all the things.

So I suppose it’s expected that my brain shut down part of itself in this mess of trying to figure out what the hell I’m going to do.

Unfortunately, it shut down the one thing that’s always kept me sane.

As a result, I’ve been slowly dying inside, trying to fight depression and stress and all the things that creep in from family and personal issues that have nothing to do with writing and publishing. So far, 2016 has not been the best year.

But I’m finding the light again. 
I wrote. 

For the first time in I can’t remember how long, I wrote a few pages last night.

And it felt really, really good.

I saw a light. 
Something I hadn’t seen in a while. 

It reminded me that I could do this. I can do all the things. I’ll make it work. I just have to stop letting fear control me, and just go.

Do what I need to do.
Because I can do this. 
I can. 


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