Always in motion, is the future…
Yoda is quite wise. And generally spot on, too.
2017 has been that way for me, that’s for certain. In motion, I mean.
If I base my feelings on 2017 right now, on my feelings in this moment, on Christmas Eve, 2017, I’m pretty sure that 2017 sucked. But I’m kinda biased with that, because if I turn around, and really look at what I’ve accomplished this year, I shouldn’t be sad at all.
I have no real holiday spirit right now, because I missed a book deadline. Ending the Curse, book 3 in the Charming Fairy Tales has missed its mark by so far, even I’m not sure when it’s going to come together. I had to postpone the pre-order, which I hated doing, but was certain I could have it up within the 30 days. Then I made myself physically sick trying to hit the 30 day postponement date, and realized, nope, it’s not going to happen. I wasn’t about to deliver a horrible story just to get something out there.
And I feel horrible about this.
I had a plan, after all. A schedule and goal.
Ending the Curse was to be written over the summer, finished by September at the latest this year, which gave me plenty of time to hit my pre-order.
It was going to be easy.
So easy, that when Samhain returned all my books from their closing, I figured since I had most of the covers done, that I’d be able to toss those books back up for sale, with no worries. No deadlines, and everything would be cake.
I even planned all sorts of activities for my kids, so they could have a fun and busy summer, but still have time for the things I wanted to do.
Then in July, right in the middle of all my plans, I had an emergency come up with my day job. A completely unexpected, never-in-a-million-years predicted event that caused me to pretty much throw every idea and plan I had to the wind. One of those crazy, hard-to-believe things, even in my wildest writer’s imagination, would have never thought could possibly happen.
This event enlightened me and made me crazy, all in one fell swoop. Enlightenment, because I recognized that nothing is ever certain, and plans truly do need to be as fluid as possible, because anything can, and usually does, happen, to muck them up. Made me crazy, because, while I don’t freak out over change, I do tend to be a bit of a control freak about certain things, and publishing is one of them. (Probably why I like self-publishing. I like having all the control on all the details.)
I learned that sometimes, I have to say no.
I have to cancel things, or adjust things, in order to keep myself from going crazy. And yes, I’m going to have an “ugly Barbie day” on occasion. More often than not, I will, anyway. And it doesn’t look like it’s going to settle down anytime soon, either.
This is my new normal. I bought a fancy new planner to help me track my new normal, so I didn’t lose my mind.
I learned that I sometimes have to lean on my family and friends for help, and that I can’t do everything on my own. Though God knows I try to. And I also saw the ugly side of people when their plans have to change, and it made me recognize that I have to stay “in motion” as much as possible, because things can change at the drop of a hat.
I can be just fine, on my way to work, and be hit by a car. That I can slam my hand into the wall, barreling around a corner, and break my fingers. (Yep. Done it.)
But I have to stop myself, so I don’t get frustrated or mad when plans have to be changed.
Or feel like a failure.
I make myself remember, I wasn’t exactly sleeping away the year. I got a lot done. A lot. All these books were either newly released or re-released (with updating) with the closing of Samhain publishing. I was even surprised by the number of them I put out this year.
Series: Barrum, KS BooksMission of ChristmasFantasy Girl
Series: The Charming Fairy TalesSlipping Away
Series: Guys and GodmothersUnder His NoseBefore His EyesJust His Taste
Series: The Mythical KnightsDark WithinDarker CravingsDarkest Judgment
Series: The MythicalsSaving Her Destiny
Series: The ComplexUnclaimed
Will next year be so prolific? Probably not. Though I have 4-5 projects on the radar so far. Mostly all of them will be new. 1 book still needs to be re-released from Samhain too.
So I shouldn’t be sad about this year, and my lack of accomplishments. I did a lot more than I feel like I did…