I’ve had that the last few weeks. My grandmother, Jane, passed away on Jan 31st, she was 87, and while it was not unexpected, everything progressed very quickly the last month of her life–literally a domino effect over about three and a half weeks. She had a stroke last May, and her recovery was going well, for the most part, until she broke her hip, which started a cascade of events, leading to putting her in hospice and then her death at the end of January.
My grandmother and I were very close, I was her first-born grandchild, and we had a special relationship, spending a great deal of time together all my life. Jane was a shopper, and loved to “go to town,” and we went anywhere she wanted to go, whenever I could. And we had to get pizza for lunch, because she loved pizza. Though she loved it, she would not buy frozen, or try and make it at home, she liked going to restaurants with pizza buffets, so she could get one of each kind she liked.
I ate a lot of pizza with Jane. 🙂
The strangest part about her passing for me, at least, is the desire to want to call her, to pick up the phone and just visit, see where she wants to go shopping today. The thought has crossed my mind several times just to call her, but I stop, because I know she’s not going to answer. At least not on the phone.
She’s around, I know she is. I swear she was there when I did her hair for the last time, probably laughing at my hesitance at first. Of course, I heard in my head “It’s no different than doing the dummies in beauty school,” and while I don’t KNOW where that came from, it sounded like something she would have said, and I like to think she was there, helping me out. And probably thinking I was a dork for hesitating.
I know I can talk to her whenever I want, pray whenever I need it, still, it feels rather empty a bit inside. She was a great lady, and I loved having her in my life. She had an awesome 86.5 years. It was just those last few months that weren’t so hot, and I remind myself of that.
So, I have to say, I’ve been trying to catch up with real life–the laundry mountains are starting to be climbable, and the dust isn’t quite so heavy anymore, though I still have a lot to do. And my hubby got me a new, slender bookshelf, that is begging for some books to be put on it. Then there’s all those wonderful things like taxes and organization, etc, that I like to do at the beginning of the year, and I haven’t even started.
And somewhere in there, I’ll get back to writing. I have to, Michelle Pillow has informed me I’m about 5,000 pages behind on my writing goals. I have to finish the sequel to Rescuing Rapunzel, and then the final book in the trilogy, as well as some new books I want to get done this year.
So I’ll be busy… and maybe I’ll stay off Facebook long enough to get it all done.